If the funeral procession to hell has a soundtrack, Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine probably provides it – although hopefully Satan can offer the band a better production job. The British quartet’s debut album of thick, leaden, crushing doom metal is as nauseating as its name. This three-song, 54-minute dirge, engorged with flagellate feedback and the ultra-slow drone of distortion, comes courtesy of doom architects Justin Greaves (Iron Monkey, Hard to Swallow), Greg Anderson (Goatsnake, Thor’s Hammer), Lee Dorrian (Cathedral, Napalm Death) and Stephen O’Malley (Khanate, Burning Witch). While there is little diversity in theme or music on Rampton – the title reportedly comes from a mental hospital of the same name in a British community known for its unusually high percentage of glue sniffers -- the album does conclude with a lyrically intense 18-minute death march ironically called “The Smiler.” By the time the track’s final rotting chords fade, I wouldn’t blame you if you actually heeded TLRD’s last piece of unholy advice: “Smash head against wall to relax your pain/Snort some more cocaine/Her face has turned red/Your sensations are dead/Riot in your head.”
If, on the other hand, you don’t feel like dying today, find something else to listen to…
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