Instead of the usual review thing, here's an imaginary interview with the band (all the preliminary niceties are skipped to keep you awake).
- So why did you choose to have a vocalist that sounds like a washed-out version of Phil Anselmo with some excessive throat coating?
The Band: Peter doesn't sound like Phil Anslemo!!! Well, maybe a little bit, but he mostly gets inspirations from his pet monkey when it's in heat. He has proven himself to be quite an annoying shouter, so we're sticking with him.
- Most of the riffs on the album sound like they were either lifted directly off Slaughter of the Soul or one those Anthrax albums with John Bush...
The Band: Since At The Gates broke up due to lack of any new creative ideas, and Jensen is too lazy to play technical shit, we took this direction. At least, be grateful that we didn't rip Entombed off! However, we do have some new material that some people find similiar to Motorhead and AC/DC. Back to the roots, baby!
- Well, we surely are grateful. But why did you have to sound like every other aggro-metal band mixed with the 80's-like cheesy thrash? Does back to the roots also mean mundane songwriting to you?
The Band: Again, due to our complete lack of inspiration, we've gone in the direction that at least secures some part of the "metal market" for us. C'mon, we have enough fans to sell them the same album 4 or 5 times over! Mundane is a term we'd like to avoid,
but we do agree with being labelled "brutally devoid of any new ideas".
- Have you played any live shows yet? Has anyone in the audience experienced a sudden feeling of nausea? How many times did you have people falling asleep in the pit?
The Band: We don't care. Our groupies will surely make a nice pit amongst themselves if they have. All we need to do is promise to play an old At The Gates song during the encore!
- Got you! Do you guys own any Slayer pajamas? Do you tuck yourself comfortably in them at night while listing to Peter shouting out nursery rhymes?
The Band: Yes we do. We also own a set of houseware with the Earache logo on it. We use it for our regular tea-parties with our fellow label mates such as Janus Stark and Pitchshifter.
- Thanks a lot for your informative interview.
Ever felt like you were cheated?