FTW Boogie Machine: Rockers Of Destruction

You'd think that by now I would have learned not to garner expectations from a band's name but no, I couldn't help it. To be fair, FTW Boogie Machine does, for all intents and purposes, suggest an outfit who'll lay down mega grooves and maybe a bit of, well, boogie.... and a quick check of the FTW BM website reveals influences such as Motorhead (boogie and groove should be assured) and Venom (boogie and groove should eschewed). The truth lies somewhere in between, for while there's a big dollop of the 'Head, there's very little, if any Venom. Instead sub-Accept riffs are in evidence and the stomp, if none of the threat, of Rammstein limps into view.

So these guys are German? No... British? Nah, Finnish, but for all the world it sounds like they are desperate to be a Tuetonic blast or a UK slap. Neither are achieved as everything falls flat through odd pirate chanting, utterly workmanlike vocals and tired songs which lack any hook or interest. I mean, unfortunately, we're verging on awful here. If you're looking for a band to make Motorhead or Accept on a bad day, with the volume turned down to half and Lemmy, or Wolf Hoffmann taking the day off sound exciting, then FTW Boogie Machine will just about manage that....just.

Live they may be a different proposition – according to the band, they go down a storm at biker bashes (I'd guess after the brews have been flowing for quite some time though...) - but in the studio, there's simply no getting away from the fact that other than some cool guitar licks and the odd ear snagging riff, what FTW Boogie Machine lay down is flaccid, flabby and with ideas way above its station. Before you've even reached the half way point of Rockers Of Destruction, the one overriding hope you have, is that it'll all be over soon - albums like this are what the skip button was invented for. If the digital age has achieved anything, it is that one small mercy.

FTW Boogie Machine? Other than the complete lack of boogie and dearth of machine like precision, the name is perfect. After all I presume FTW stands for Frow This aWay.....or For The Wheelie-bin..... or Frankly Trash and Worryingly poor?

Track Listing
1. Liberty Boys
2. Rock And Roll Blood
3. Hellion Breed
4. Chopper Men And Boogie Machines
5. Twenty Flight Rock
6. Hot Wheels And Cold Steel
7. Big Fat Ass Bitch
8. Snakebite Woman
9. Do You Want It All
10. Rat Faced Fools With No Rules
11. Give Them Hell
12. The Road

Added: February 15th 2014
Reviewer: Steven Reid
Score:
Related Link: FTW Boogie Machine Online
Hits: 1994
Language: english

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